Where My Loyalties Lie Read online

  -1-

  Karma sat silently, sipping on her caramel mocha latte for what seemed like forever. She was watching Joy, who was watching Logic as he sat alone in the corner of Intrigued. As usual, Logic was sitting at what Karma assumed was his table, because in all the months that she and Joy had been coming there, never once had she seen anyone else occupy that corner table except Logic. When he wasn’t working or on stage performing, he was at that damn table.

  Joy seemed to be in a trance, which was typically her normal state of being anytime she was within viewing distance of Logic. Karma knew that her best friend was secretly in love with this man, and had been for months; but never once had she said anything to him other than “hello” or “thank you”.

  Karma laughed as she thought about how deeply Joy had fallen under Logic’s spell and it was easy to see why. He was gorgeous in an unrefined kind of way, from the scar on the right side of his face to his wild, wooly hair. Logic had an energy about him that just drew you in, in a way that you couldn’t explain. His presence was commanding and addictive. There was a certain mystery about him that made you want to know more.

  Maybe it was the way that he always seemed to be alone but never lonely, or maybe it was that every time he spoke, you felt safe and protected. His presence alone made the most undeserving women feel like queens. Women who usually flocked the streets scantily dressed, would show up to Intrigued, respectable in appearance, with the hopes that Logic would entertain their flirtatious ways. He was the type of man that had an endless supply of women; however, you could never really call him on it because he was discreet and private.

  Logic was most definitely a king in all ways possible, but the most intriguing quality about Logic was the fact that he had a natural essence about himself. He was genuine. Logic didn’t seem to be bothered with opinions, which showed in the way he carried himself. He spoke his mind freely, never concerned with judgment, and he treated everyone with respect unless they came at him sideways. Karma and Joy had witnessed the more rugged side of him emerge a few times after being challenged by someone who assumed that he wouldn’t defend himself. Needless to say, it didn’t happen often because he proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was not one to be fucked with. Logic was the kind of man every woman wanted, without really understanding why she felt compelled to have him. He was undoubtedly the ultimate Alpha Male.

  “Joy Malone, if you don’t stop drooling over that damn man then we’re leaving, because you’re starting to embarrass me.

  Joy was so wrapped up in her thoughts about Logic that she didn’t even hear Karma speaking to her. She was consumed by his energy, as she watched him scribbling in his leather bound journal, systematically, the way he always did. For months Joy had watched Logic, making her an expert on his mannerisms. She could easily tell when he was stuck or deep in thought, simply by the way the tip of his pen graced his luscious lips; he would bite down on the tip of it. Joy found it to be the sexiest thing ever. This would continue, until the ideas were dislodged in his head and began to flow again, which usually bought out two reactions: either a soft barely noticeable smile, or the biting of his bottom lip, as his thoughts began taking over while consuming him. These were all simple details about him that the average person wouldn’t pick up on. Either way, Joy was in love. She had never even held a real conversation with this man, but she knew with every fiber of her soul that she loved him.

  She loved his sleepy, dark brown eyes, his caramel colored skin, and perfectly imperfect smile. His nicely defined arms made Joy crave to be lost in their embrace, every time her eyes traced them. She could close her eyes and recreate every visible tattoo that graced his body, her favorite being his name in bold script that circled his left forearm. If there was such a thing as a perfect man, Logic was that man.

  “Joy, don’t make me slap you up in here,” Karma said, half joking but half serious. She hadn’t come out with Joy just to be ignored.

  “Slap me for what?” Joy asked, as she turned in the direction of her best friend.

  “Because you’re paying more attention to your little obsession than you are to me. I’m treating tonight, not him, so you better start lusting over me quick, fast and in a hurry,” Karma said, making Joy laugh and almost spit out the hot chocolate that she had just sipped.

  “First of all, I love you Karma, and you are absolutely one of the most beautiful people I know inside and out, but you are definitely not my type. And second of all, I’m not lusting over anyone, so calm down with all the dramatics, boo.” Joy peered at Karma over the enormous mug she was now holding to her lips.

  “Thanks for the compliment, but you’re stating the obvious, and if you’re not lusting over him then what is it that you’ve been doing for the last, oh I don’t know, twenty minutes? I might as well get a table by myself because I feel so alone,” Karma said with pouty lips.

  “Oh my God, you are such a self-indulged brat.” Joy rolled her eyes and then glanced at Logic, as he closed his journal, dropped it into the book bag that he always seemed to have with him, and then headed towards the kitchen.

  “I guess break time is over and your man is going back to work, so maybe now you’ll pay attention to me. Also, for the record, I might be self-indulged but I most definitely am not a brat.”

  Joy just laughed. She knew it was pointless to argue with Karma, because Karma refused to lose an argument whether she was right or wrong.

  “So are you staying with me tonight or you going home?” Joy asked as she looked around Intrigued, checking out the crowd. There was a local poet on stage reciting something, but neither Karma or Joy was paying attention to him. The café was dark as always, with a relaxed kind of atmosphere. There were oversized candles on every table, while string lights graced the walls, hung from the ceilings and lined the stage. The walls were also covered with multicolored eclectic art, mostly by home grown local artists, and photos of famous people that stopped through from time to time. Intrigued was an underground spot and only a handful of people knew of its existence. It was a creative space with friendly people, open mics, and inspiration that allowed you to express yourself without judgment, making Intrigued one of Atlanta’s best kept secrets. If you were from the A and fueled by creativity, then you most definitely knew about Intrigued. Other than that, it was pretty much off the grid.

  “Your place, and get your head right because your man’s approaching in five, four, three, two… Hey Logic, you got something for us tonight?” Karma asked with a huge grin, as she watched Joy began to fidget in her chair.

  “Nah, not tonight. I’m chilling.” Logic flashed those pearly whites at Karma first, and then Joy who looked away.

  Logic chuckled a little because he thought it was cute the way she always shied away from him. For months, Joy had come into his spot and for months, he had noticed her watching him but never once did she approach him. Most women went out of their way to get his attention, however, not Joy. She kept her distance, but he knew there was something between them. In fact, the only reason why Logic never stepped to Joy was because she seemed too high maintenance for him. Logic dropped out of high school at sixteen and more or less allowed the streets to educate him. Logic was undoubtedly intelligent, just not by society’s standards because he lacked the degrees that ultimately determined your fate. Unlike him, Joy fit the bill; she also was smart, but in a traditional sense. She just had that look about her. Long story short, Logic was a reformed dealer who didn’t want the headache of trying to keep up with the wants and needs of a good girl.

  Her appearance was always flawless, and Joy seemed to come from money, which made Logic feel like they wouldn’t be compatible. It wasn’t usually like him to judge a book by its cover, but some shit was
just kind of obvious. Logic didn’t really care about material things anymore. He worked hard and took care of himself, but from what he’d seen of Joy over the past few months, she would want far more than he would be able to offer. If he had met her before he gave up his street life, then he might have considered it. A few months ago, money wasn’t an issue, but Intrigued wasn’t exactly the kind of job that brought in six figures. For that reason, he felt it was best to keep his distance. It didn’t, however, stop him from admiring her beauty and imagining what it would be like to taste her lips—both sets. Joy’s thick thighs, perfectly round breasts, plush ass, and flawless skin, kept his mind in a lustful state. Logic spent a lot of time imagining things about Joy, which ended up in a journal of poems. They were his private thoughts about what he wanted and would do to her, if given the chance. He never performed these pieces at Intrigued; they were precious to him.

  “Well that sucks; we were looking forward to you dropping some pearls of your wisdom tonight, weren’t we Joy?” Karma’s eyes fell on Joy as a smirk crawled onto her face, while Joy’s hardened in a narrowed stare.

  “Well?” Logic asked, now focused on Joy. He didn’t know why he entertained Karma’s attempt to put Joy on the spot, but there was something about the way her face turned into a frown that drew him in.

  “Well what?” Joy asked, feeling silly after the words left her mouth.

  “Were you looking forward to me being on stage tonight?” he asked, as his eyes traced her body and then focused on her face.

  “Actually, we were just leaving so it really doesn’t matter.” Joy pushed her chair back and stood, but Logic caught her wrist.

  “Don’t go yet. I might have something for you.” His soft, cocky grin caused Joy’s body to react.

  They were inches apart and Joy was damn near about to jump out of her skin. She inhaled his scent, and it had her heart racing because it was so intoxicating. Luckily, she was able to keep her cool long enough to take her seat again.

  “It better be worth it,” she said randomly, not knowing what else to say to get him out of her personal space. She couldn’t be trusted with him being that close.

  Logic’s deep voice seemed to vibrate in her chest as he spoke. “I’ll try not to disappoint. Let me go let Luther know I’m about to hit the stage. I’ll be right back.”

  Karma watched Logic until he was far enough away to not hear her voice, and then she finally spoke.

  “You just graduated from Spellman as an English major with a 4.5 GPA, so please explain why it is that your ass can’t formulate a complete sentence when he’s around? Joy Malone, if you don’t get your shit together I am disowning you, and I mean it; four and a half years of friendship down the drain.”

  Joy laughed at the seriousness in Karma’s voice. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “He basically just stopped you from leaving, which translates to, I want to make you cum, and all you could think to say is, ‘it better be worth it’.”

  “Uh, first of all, I want to make you cum? That’s a little extreme, and what else was I supposed to say? He asked me not to leave, so out of respect for my very valuable time, I just requested that he make it worth my while to stay.”

  “Oh trust me Joy, he’s more than willing to make it worth your while, just not in the way that you’re insinuating.”

  “You are so over the top, I swear.”

  “No boo, I’m real, and you better start being real with yourself about that man or-” Karma stopped reprimanding Joy when she heard Logic’s voice flow from the stage a few feet away from them.

  “How’s everybody tonight?”

  Karma and Joy both turned to face the stage, after Logic’s baritone forced its way through the building. He immediately had everyone’s attention without even trying.

  “We’re good baby, but not as good as you, with your fine ass,” a feminine voice yelled from the front of the room.

  He chuckled before he continued. “I appreciate that. First of all, let me start by saying I wasn’t supposed to be up here tonight. I’m actually supposed to be working right now, but apparently it was important to someone that I bless you this evening. For what is probably the first time ever, I’m actually a little nervous, because I had a mild threat forced upon me. I hope you’ll forgive me if I’m off my game tonight. I just want to make sure it’s worth it.”

  Logic looked right at Joy and she felt like her heart was going to burst right out of her chest. Everything about this man emulated sex; sex that she wanted, sex that she could literally feel happen, as her eyes traced every enticing inch of his body.

  “I think I’m going to freestyle and see where that takes me. You good with that?”

  The crowd erupted and began to clap, so Logic began…

  “Her presence is intimidating, yet she’s quiet as an autumn rain,

  Her eyes possess the power, to drive a man insane,

  Her lips beg for attention, that unveil his hidden lust,

  Her heart promises a loyalty, that force a man to trust,

  Her legs around his waist, she’ll tease and make him beg,

  One night is all he needs, spreading her thighs in his bed,

  He sighs releasing frustrations, they escape him quietly

  Because no matter how bad he wants her, it’s possible that it will never be.”

  As the last sentence escaped his lips, Logic’s eyes found Joy and she knew that he was speaking directly to her. If she wasn’t already under his spell then, she truly was now. She had to have him, no matter what the cost.

  -2-

  “I remember a time when I used to inspire you like that.” Logic hadn’t realized that he was staring at Joy until Felicia’s voice broke his trance. His eyes fell softly on her oval shaped face as their eyes met. Hers sad with the realization that what she wanted from him he would never give, and his with the sympathy of knowing that she needed more than he was willing to offer her. Felicia was cool and they kicked it pretty strong, but she just didn’t do it for him. He had mad love for her because she was always there, but she just wasn’t what he wanted and never would be.

  Logic threw his backpack over his left shoulder, and with one last glance, caught Joy just as she left the building. He moved towards Felicia, his arm slipped around her waist, pulling her body into his before his lips met her forehead, her neck and then her lips.

  “You going with me?” He chose to ignore her statement about Joy because it would lead to a lie, which he fought hard to stay away from. Logic found that the truth, no matter how painful it sometimes was, was always the best option. When he felt like the truth was going to do more harm than good, he chose silence instead.

  Felicia adjusted her mood slightly at the thought of spending the night with Logic. Not wanting to ruin the moment, she let go of the jealous feelings that surfaced when she noticed the way he watched Joy. She was hopeful that he would make her feel like she mattered again.

  “If that’s an offer then yes. I have to run by my place to grab a few things because I have to work in the morning, but I’ll meet you there.” Felicia looked up at Logic and smiled before he released his hold on her.

  “Aight shorty, just hit me when you’re on your way.” He leaned in for one last kiss before he turned to leave.

  Logic made his way to the front door, speaking to a few regulars with a pound or a head nod as he made his way through the building. Once he reached the front, he pushed through the tint-lined glass door to exit the building. It was January in Atlanta, so not really comparable to the cold winters he remembered from Newark as a kid, but a sharp intense chill shot through his body as a crisp breeze swept past him. It was just after eleven o’clock so there wasn’t much activity in front of Intrigued, but a few passing cars caught his eye. Logic was street raised, so any activity was relevant to him, being that he had on a number occasions been the victim of random drive-by shootings from forged enemies.

  As he surveyed his surroundings, Logic made h
is way to his 2010 Accord so that he could head home, when a familiar voice caught his attention.

  “Hey, I was wondering, or rather she was wondering if you had plans.” A small voice filled the air from behind him and when Logic turned, he noticed Karma moving towards him with Joy a few steps behind.

  Joy was hugging her body, gripping the thick burgundy cable knit sweater she wore, while her chin was tucked into a matching gray and burgundy scarf that rounded her neck. Her eyes were on his as they approached.

  “Kind of, but nothing important, what’s up?” he asked, after he pulled his door open and stood in-between it and his car. He kept his expression neutral, but he couldn’t hide the smile in his eyes, as Karma and Joy stood in front of him a few feet away.

  “I just wanted to say thank you for not wasting my time,” Joy said, lifting her chin enough to expose her mouth. Logic’s eyes were now focused on her lips, as he obsessed over how they would taste.

  With a smirk and a soft chuckle, his eyes moved from her lips to her entire face. Once his eyes locked on hers, he spoke. “So, I take it you liked my piece?”

  “It was alright,” Joy smiled, “but I guess you can say it was worth staying for.”

  “Hmmm,” was all Logic said.

  “Hmmm, what?” Joy countered.

  “Nothing… so you asked if I had plans. You offering me some more of your precious time?” he asked.

  Karma’s eyes moved back and forth from Logic to Joy as they spoke. She wore a grin, pleased that the two of them were actually holding a conversation finally.

  “It’s late, sooo-”

  Again, Logic chuckled. “It was late when you walked over here asking me if I had plans,” he interrupted, not wanting to lose the opportunity to spend time with her.

  “I didn’t ask you anything, Karma did,” Joy said, and then rolled her eyes at her best friend who shrugged and smiled.

  “Yeah, well, minor detail,” Karma said.

  “Exactly. Come take a ride with me,” Logic said boldly, praying that she would agree. After all these months, he finally had a chance to get to know her and he wasn’t about to let semantics ruin it for him.